Below are a selection of reviews from Amazon.
Posted onVerified Wish I had found this sooner I sadly had a missed miscarriage in December. It was extremely traumatic and lasted over a month from finding no heartbeat to having surgery. After 6 months, still struggling with grief, I ordered this book. It’s Truly the first time I had felt understood and that my feelings are totally normal. It’s given me a sense of hope that good times will return. Thank you Zoe.Posted onVerified A rat of light during the worst experience This book helped me immensely following my miscarriage. I keep returning to various quotes within it to help me through my grief. The day by day guide to grief is particularly helpful. It made me see that I wasn’t going crazy or losing my mind, but that what I was experiencing is felt by others too. Alongside this is a message of strength and hope to support the reader through the desolation and despair of pregnancy loss.I think it would be useful for people supporting others through miscarriage as it put words to my feelings when I couldn’t.I’m not sure it was worth the price though, I paid it out of desperation for something, anything, to help me. However I believe that some of the money goes to the Mariposa Trust founded by the author so feel slightly better about this.Posted onVerified A ray of light that I desperately searched for during the darkness & will continue to use throughout my life! Having miscarried our first baby at 7 weeks to then be told our second baby had an irreparable heart condition at 17 weeks just 5 months later, was like someone ripping out my own heart. The options presented to us for terminating the pregnancy were shockingly limited & daunting, either endure labour knowing baby wouldn't survive or face surgical termination at an abortion clinic as our local hospital doesn't perform surgical terminations past 12 weeks gestation. Neither myself nor my partner felt emotionally strong enough to go through labour so we had no other choice but the abortion route, but by the time an appointment was available I was 19 weeks pregnant, feeling baby move, suffering all the usual pregnancy symptoms knowing there'd soon be no baby. We had over 2 weeks in limbo awaiting the termination & the treatment I received on the day was shockingly painful, lonely & traumatic. To not be able to have my partner with me throughout was devastating - leaving him to wait in the car for 6-7 hours as the clinic was hours away from home & he wasn't allowed to be with me, to have been given no acknowledgment or privacy & respect for the incredibly sad reason for terminating our much wanted baby will forever haunt me & I can't help wishing we had been strong enough for the birth option. Throughout the whole experience from diagnosis to treatment I felt I had nowhere to turn...our local hospital washed their hands of us once we decided on the surgical termination, admittedly the London hospital where we saw the fatal cardiologist did provide us with leaflets & contacts for charities like ARC & Sands, but I struggled to find any real comfort or guidance during the toughest decision of our lives...until I found Zoe & the Mariposa Trust. As soon as I started reading Saying Goodbye I felt like I had finally found what I needed during the darkness & during such a heartbreaking time it REALLY is hard to know exactly what you need! Up until this point we didn't know what to do with ourselves, not going out, not seeing people it just seemed easier to shut ourselves away from life altogether to begin to grieve. Zoe's honest, natural, home-hitting words & experiences were suddenly telling me that everything I felt was normal, I sobbed, I laughed, I nodded my head in agreement a thousand times. The daily tasks were, and continue to be, a tremendous help, along with the inspiring quotes. Almost 2 months on I've started to have a few 'good days' yet this weekend I was suddenly floored by all the emotions once again, I wanted to hide under my duvet once more & stay there for a week, so I turned to Saying Goodbye & started reading it again, knowing the comfort it would give me & to bring me out of potential heartbreak hibernation once more. Zoe's work & my experiences make me want to help get the word out there more & offer support to others going through this truly awful experience, I know this book will forever be a support to me & I cannot say thank you enough. I want to see this book in the pregnancy unit of hospitals, in abortion clinics, doctors surgeries, I want every single person facing any form of baby loss to know that there is help out there when you need it the most & long term. To anyone considering buying this book for themselves or others, you won't regret it.Posted onVerified The warm and gentle hug that got me through the darkest of night. " You have survived something no parent should need to face. You are a hero." (Zoe Clark-Coates) The book in two words: life changing. Zoe's book is split into two parts; the first being Zoe and Andy's story of grief, loss and survival. Zoe and her husband are well versed in grief, having lost 5 children themselves, they know the pain better than anyone and speak with an honesty and raw emotion that is so rarely spoken of. The second half of the book is 90 days of support. The words contained within theses pages could have been taken from my own heart and Zoe speaks such truth and understanding. Zoe talks of a 'silent scream' buried deep within us (those who have lost) and she couldn't be more right. It's the pain that I've longed to voice but never had the courage to speak/shout or cry, but Zoe hears that pain, and answers it with the gentlest of words and calm. Zoe knows the pain in my heart and on the darkest of nights her words made me feel comforted and gave me hope, she reignited my trust and faith in the world. Each page is an outpouring of love, empathy and warmth. It is the book that has helped to lift the shadow of grief and guilt that I've been carrying around for year. Zoe writes in a way that is universal to grieving parents, yet seems so effortlessly personal at the same time. The book has reassured me that I'm not mad and the worries I have are completely normal or understandable.Each of the 90 days of support has a task for the day and I have tried my best to do all of them. Some of the tasks are to help build a better support network for yourself, by communicating how you feel, with friends. Whereas other days focus on dealing directly with your loss and the impact it has had, such as writing a letter to your baby. Zoe also stresses the importance of self care throughout the book, taking time for yourself and doing what feels right for you, whatever that might be. I cannot rate Zoe's book highly enough, its the love and reassurance that every grieving parent should be given. But above everything Zoe has given me hope, hope that I can and will survive this, because despite going through the unimaginable myself and millions of other mothers with empty arms are still here, still breathing and taking each day as it comes. The love I have for each of my babies is eternal and despite the gaping hole that they have left in my life, my children have given me the greatest of gifts, an appreciation of love and life. But it is only because of Zoe and her pure heart that I can finally realise this and be at peace with my babies passings. For this, I owe Zoe everything.Load more